I'm sitting in my home office and it's late at night...or early in the morning depending upon how you look at things I guess.
When I first started blogging I did it all from this room. It's quiet, secluded and in the summer I can open the window and look at a big tree in the back yard. But it's 3:00am and the window and curtain are closed. It's quiet, which is the perfect time to blog.
Most of my writing is done between work on the laptop. And for location, it ends up being anywhere I happen to find space to sit and write. But there is something conducive to writing in a room set up just for things like that. The cool thing about having a quiet place to do this is that the world seems so far away.
I think i've written before about being a night owl. I have always felt that being awake when the rest of my world is asleep somehow gives me a leg up on things. I don't know how true that is, but I still feel that way a bit.
It's Christmas Eve. A weird one for me this year because I lost my mom to cancer a year ago tomorrow. Up until her diagnosis I enjoyed blogging a great deal. And while I may not have been as consistent and I would have liked, I really did try to get on often.
My world was so shaken when I learned my mom was ill that I couldn't blog. Nothing seemed as important as it once did. And I couldn't actually find the ability to write about her illness. It really was as if putting it down would make it somehow more real.
There were (and are) a great many friends who werethere for me. My best Friend Rick (who I don't see often enough and that's totally my fault) astounded me. He had lost his father so had a particular insight into what I was going through. But I was amazed when he rang back a few moments later to tell me he had informed his boss that a family situation had come up and that, should the situation present itself, he would have to leave in a moments notice to be with family.
As it turned out my mom lived over a year and a half after her diagnosis of the inoperable cancer. And of thta time, 99 percent of it was spent in relative good spirits and absolutely no pain or discomfort.
It really was only at the end when things changed so dramatically.
It's Christmas Eve, and I am a little blue, but not as much as I have been. We were able to say our goodbyes for a year. We left nothing unsaid and for that I am grateful.
I've written that Christmastime has never been a particularly enjoyable time for me. I've always been melancholy. And it's odd that now, the first one without mom, I find myself less melancholy and just ...a little numb I guess.
While some friends thought that mom passing away on Christmas day was particularly awful, I saw it differently. As my dear friend Zaada said, "How wonderful that she, as a Christian died on the day of her saviors birth," and I couldn't agree more.
There was never going to be a good time for her to pass on. But I feel some sort of comfort that it was done on such a celebrated day.
To all my Christian friends, Merry Christmas. And to all those of other faiths, or those who practice none, I wish you peace, happiness and good health for you and your families. Have a wonderful weekend.